he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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