the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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