Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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