fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
