I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
