If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
