Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
