She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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