Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize