i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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