what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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