we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
