When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
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Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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