I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
