I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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