the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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