they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
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It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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