he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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