wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize