How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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