So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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