so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
