I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
