I think i peed on brittanys purse
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.