you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"