Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.