Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

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  (312): i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id. http://tfl.nu/1l5p
  Replies (19) Good night (607) Bad night (2468)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  where am I supposed to find one of those?

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  (225): I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8. (225): where am I supposed to find one of those? http://tfl.nu/uj31
  Replies (17) Good night (1145) Bad night (2596)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..

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  (443): 8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath.. http://tfl.nu/przo
  Replies (44) Good night (3600) Bad night (1708)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.

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  (240): I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards. http://tfl.nu/evpw
  Replies (17) Good night (1481) Bad night (5036)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were

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  (503): Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were http://tfl.nu/3ofv
  Replies (14) Good night (5835) Bad night (1231)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.

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  (503): Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement. http://tfl.nu/wyat
  Replies (11) Good night (4295) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us

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  (214): Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us http://tfl.nu/gb64
  Replies (13) Good night (1443) Bad night (2885)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...

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  (360): Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated? (903): Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake... http://tfl.nu/fy7y
  Replies (6) Good night (2474) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.

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  (239): allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee. http://tfl.nu/rbdo
  Replies (5) Good night (709) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.

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  (208): He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like. http://tfl.nu/bbeg
  Replies (12) Good night (883) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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  (732): Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome http://tfl.nu/8jcl
  Replies (27) Good night (2153) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit

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  (337): My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit http://tfl.nu/nmyv
  Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention

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  (610): I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention http://tfl.nu/bnw5
  Replies (4) Good night (606) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.

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  (817): If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text. http://tfl.nu/t6cn
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.

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  (216): I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class. (610): I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class. http://tfl.nu/0ypg
  Replies (0) Good night (938) Bad night (265)

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