Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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