we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.