I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
