My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
