I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
