next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize