There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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