if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
