is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
