What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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