yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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