Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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