Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
