just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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