I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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