A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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