New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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