took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
