My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
