Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
