my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
