I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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