you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
