Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
