I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
