i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
