Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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