My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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