The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
