Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
