Kiss
Puke
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize