But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
