I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
