So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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