i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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