i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
