When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
